I think I might be invisible.
Not all the time. Just when I am on planes.
Last Thursday morning I flew to Oslo as most of you will be aware. I mentioned it enough times beforehand. My flight was 7.20 in the morning and it takes about 1h 45m to get from Heathrow to Oslo.
At no point during the flight did any member of the cabin crew or any other passenger speak to me or acknowledge my existence in any way, shape or form. Now, I am quite comfortable with that. I find air travel excruciatingly boring. I used to have to fly to Dublin 2 or 3 times a month and it became something of a chore. If I can I try to sleep all the way through the flight. On more than one occasion I have had to be woken up after landing. If I can't nod off then I will read a book. I hardly ever partake of in-flight entertainment and, if the flight is not too long, I don't bother with the food either.
I just sit there and mind my own business really. Which is what I did on Thursday. And everybody left me alone.
Which wasn't the case at Heathrow airport itself. Far from it. Having checked in online the night before I was looking forward to strolling through all the checkpoints and straight on to plane with only a few minutes to spare. Unfortunately I was stopped at nearly every stage.
Airport security is, understandably, very strong these days and I realise that there are some things they won't let you take through the security checks. Like shoes, apparently. Three times I had to take my shoes off in the 50 or so feet (no pun intended) between entering departures and the array of perfumes on flight side.
I was then treated to a comprehensive search (although not a strip search or rubber glove job, I hasten to add) having bleeped as I went through the metal detector and my bag was emptied out and all my toiletries confiscated. And yes, I do know about the liquid restrictions but genuinely thought my various balms and balsalms were within the guidelines. Apparently not. Or perhaps they just thought it would be fun to test out the 24 hour protection that my deodorant claims to offer. I did at one stage wonder if this was some elaborate ploy to get to me spend a fortune replacing the items in the expensive shops on the other side of the security checks. But I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. Oh no. There was no way I was going to pay over the odds and cough up for Heathrow prices.
I would wait till I landed in Oslo and pay the exorbitant Norwegian prices instead.
Another postcard from Oslo tomorrow.
I am a 60-year-old woman: I am invisible *all the time*.
Posted by: Bela | March 31, 2009 at 04:17 AM
I think there is a connection between carry on items and the stores at the airport. In the US you have to put your toiletries in a plastic sandwich size bag. Only one plastic bag is requested. If you do not have one you have to purchase one at the little nick-nack store and it is like $5 for two, which is nuts. Next, if your lotions, shampoos and such do not fit in the little bag, they go directly into the trash. It is sad to throw out shit that you just bought and didn't use -but it won't fit in the damn plastic baggie.
Posted by: Isobella | March 31, 2009 at 04:29 AM
It's similar in the UK, Isobella - no container over 100ml (even if it's almost empty) and toiletries to be in a bag; the last time I went through Stansted they at least handed the bags out free. As many people have pointed out, there's no shortage of batteries, aftershave or whatever flightside to made a destructive device if that's what you wnated to do. I once saw a guy mention to security that he had a couple of lighters in a pocket with his cigarettes. He was told he was allowed to take one through. The reasoning seems to be that it must take more than one lighter to cause trouble and no-one would ever come up with a perfideous plan to pool lighters once past security.
Posted by: Ken | March 31, 2009 at 10:20 AM