Me And My Big Mouth

Croft

Listening to this song by Stornoway:

Reminds me of a 4th year English lesson with Mrs O'Brien. We were studying the poem Croft by Stevie Smith.

Aloft

In the loft

Sits Croft

He is soft

The class was of a oneness that this poem was a bit silly and that any of us could have done better.

Mrs O'Brien disagreed with some vigour.

Chris Convey, ever the wag, responded with:

Static

In the attic

Sits Mattic

He's eratic

You have to admit we had a point.

A Song For Sunday

The Dresses Song by Lisa Germano. I posted on Twitter a while ago about how this has one of the most romantic opening lines in rock music. It really does.

Dennis Hopper R.I.F.P

An Excellent Adventure

Three British blokes on the verge of turning 30 embark upon an American road trip to take in the locations, and some of the stars, of their favourite movies and television shows of the 1980s.

And they don't leave many cinematic stones unturned.

Police Academy, Degrassi Junior High, Rain Man, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Home Alone, The Breakfast Club, Happy Days, Purple Rain, Knight Rider, Roxanne, The Goonies, Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Stand By Me, The A Team, Short Circuit, Teen Wolf, Top Gun, Karate Kid, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Dukes of Hazzard, Ghostbusters, and plenty more that I can't be arsed to type.

They are, obviously, complete geeks, but that's OK. If anyone was going to stage such a trip and document it you would want it to be geeks. The success of this book is more in the passion they have for the subject than any literary ambition.

Which is not to suggest that the author doesn't have a nice turn of phrase. Try this for size, writing about a meeting with the elderly dog trainer who bred and raised several canine actors for The Littlest Hobo:

'For a man who's had such an interesting, varied and successful life I find it hard to feel sad that Chuck has got old; we've caught him near the end of a great life, and even great lives have to come to an end.

What's strange is that the eighties were only twenty years ago, and those twenty years seem cheap to us because we are still relatively young. But for Chuck, the last twenty years have been expensive, and it's weird seeing a man who's contributed to our childhoods now barely able to dodder out to the kitchen without having a sit down. I realise that this must rush up on you pretty quick.'

Nor has it escaped him that this whole road trip is, essentially, a bit sad. This from one of the locations used in Young Guns:

'Thirty years old, and while people my age at home have their own offices and hefty pay-packets, girlfriends, regular sex and friends ... I've just journeyed eight hours to visit a pig pen that was used for thirty seconds in a movie made twenty years ago. I must be fucking insane.'

It is a hugely entertaining read. So much so that I forgave it the clunky packaging and a copy edit full of howlers. I would suggest it was pretty much essential reading for fans of 80s movies and is a worthy addition to the growing pantheon of 'bloke goes on amusing travels linked by a flimsy premise' books.

It also features a cameo from a certain @magicnose of Twitter fame which almost makes it worth the cover price alone.

Chasing the Eighties: The Ultimate North American Roadtrip by Spencer Austin is published by Know The Score. I was sorry to hear that the publisher went bust a few months back so if you do want to pick this up you probably need to order it online pretty soon before stocks run out.

Guest Blogger: Alex Johnson

Alex Johnson gives us a guided tour of his new book Shedworking. Sit up straight and pay attention everyone. 

Alex blogs at his wonderful Shedworking site, an essential resource for anyone who works from a shed, or from any room at home. His book, Shedworking: The Alternative Workplace Revolution, is out now.

Rousseau's Cat

Everyone gets all excited about David Mitchell and his ability to weave seemingly unrelated stories into a gripping narrative. And with good reason. He is great.

But why don't people get equally squidgy about Andrew Crumey?

I know not, but it needs sorting out.

In Mr Mee, Crumey alternates between three tales. An elderly man writing to a lifelong friend recounting his new-found adventures on the internet as he tries to track down an obscure old book, a legendary 18th century encyclopedia that may or may not contain the first examples of quantum theory. A university professor, an expert on Rousseau, falls for one of his students. A couple of French buffoons, contemporaries of Rousseau, bumble around Paris trying to piece together an unusual encyclopedia that they have been asked to copy out but don't quite understand.

These strands, as you might expect, slowly come together to answer most of the questions the reader poses as he flicks through. It is a tantalising and teasing book which, thankfully, pretty much delivers a satisfying conclusion by the end. 

It is clever without showing off, full of ideas without being confusing, and frequently prompts guffaws. The adventures of the old gent getting to grips with the world wide web are hilarious.

This is now the second of Crumey's books I have read, the first being Mobius Dick, and they are both highly entertaining and impressive novels. I have Sputnik Caledonia on the shelf waiting to be read. I don't think I'll be able to wait too long.

Walter's Journal

I hope some of you have enjoyed this short serialisation of Walter's journal. Does anyone want me to carry on or was that enough?

Me Read You Long Time, Eight Ninety-Nine

Probably best not to visit Bangkok at the moment.

It's all kicking off.

Sit back and read a book instead.

Bangkok Days by self-confessed 'lazy cunt' Lawrence Osborne is an alternative, and slighty seedy account of the lives of ex-pats in modern Thailand. He originally visits the city for some cheap dentistry (cost of flights, hotel and dentist's bills cheaper than having the work done at home) but soon realises that he can get by on just a few dollars a day - the perfect scenario for someone who appears to be an ageing slacker - so decides to stay for a while and soon hooks up with a ragtag bunch of Westerners in his Bangkok apartment block.

You'll find no ladyboys here, sorry to disappoint. Instead you will discover a cast of drunks, rogues and scoundrels blagging their way around Thailand's capital city. Most of them appear to be on the run from something in their past. All of them have a story to tell, some of which Osborne manages to pry out of them.

And it is all pretty entertaining as far as it goes, although I was a bit thrown about a third of the way through when the timeline seemed to change. Osborne returns to Bangkok to track down some of his old acquaintances but it wasn't obvious that he had actually left in the first place. One minute he is there, next minute he has come back. No mention of him leaving in the middle. That bugged me.

So a slightly grubby, somewhat frustrating but overall entertaining read and refreshingly different from the usual travel fodder.

He Won!

Bob only went and won!

Many thanks for your kind words of support, the good luck vibes seemed to work.

The Third Pig Detective Agency was awarded the Eilis Dillon Memorial Prize for Best First Novel. You can read all about it here.

Many congratulations to Bob, a richly deserved award for a funny and clever book.

That was definitely my best trip to Dublin. It usually rains.

Ahh Bisto!

As you read this I am probably in Dublin. 

Volcano permitting.

I am there/here to attend the awards ceremony for the Bisto Children's Book of the Year. The Third Pig Detective Agency by The Friday Project's very own Bob Burke has been nominated.

Keep your fingers crossed for us. This is the first ever award nomination for TFP and for Bob.

A Song For Sunday

Right Here by the magnificent Go-Betweens.

Festivus

The very first Stoke Newington Literary Festival takes place from 4-6 June.

They have an amazing line-up including Tony Benn, China Mieville, Stewart Lee, Toby Litt, AC Grayling, Jeremy Hardy and loads more.

I would love to go but I am taking the family away that weekend.

But do please pop along yourselves. If they can make a success of it they have promised to let us do a Book Swap there next year.

Free Things

Concord Free Press are amazing. They publish great books and then give them away for free. All they ask is that you donate some money to a worthy cause of your choosing, or do something else to help someone in need. 

And once you have finished reading the book you can pass it on so that someone else can enjoy it and also donate.

Their latest book is IOU, a collection of writing about money. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, the works. Contributors include Kate Clanchy, Augusten Burroughs and Jonathan Ames.

They still have some left. You just have to go to their site and ask for one. They will send it from the States absolutely free but you had bloody well make sure you make a decent donation to make it worth their while!

And if you like what they are doing you can also contribute to the cause.

And on the subject of free books, my latest column in The Bookseller suggests an idea for a Free Book Day. It would be great if you could pop over and leave a comment.

Single Lady

Following the death of her husband, a woman flees London for some quiet time on the Norfolk coast. She is in her sixties and is suffering a breakdown, of sorts. A slow, fragmented breakdown that she seems completely aware of and slightly amused by.

This short novel from a previous Booker nominee is a funny and moving meditation on bereavement and ageing. The narrator is a bit of a curmudgeon and is enjoying this isolation something which, at the same time, can't help but remind her of her recent loss.

As the story develops you get glimpses of her past and small portions of the history of her marriage. Despite her grief it is obvious that all was not well with the relationship and your initial impressions have to be reassessed and readjusted the more you discover.

In The Widow's Tale, Mick Jackson has pulled off a remarkable feat of ventriloquism. He clearly isn't a 60-something woman but appears to have captured the voice of his narrator perfectly. She is entirely believable. You feel that you are reading her book, not his.

Walter's Journal

Chapter 8

The lovely Soraya at Live. Love. Learn. Write. is hosting Chapter 8 of Like Bees to Honey but Wordpress is being a bit of a silly bugger about plug-ins and widgets so you can't flick through the chapter on screen at her blog.

So here it is for anyone who has been diverted here:

Open publication - Free publishing

You can read the next chapter at Dave Roberts' Blog and you can buy the book here.

Bees All Over The Place

This is appearing on Caroline Smailes' website today. I am mirroring it here. Enjoy.

---

Somehow, I've managed to keep this a secret but finally I can reveal all... Today, one whole week before official publication, I am buzzing with excitement (the puns are apparently endless!). In what Mr Pack is claiming as a publishing first, I am thrilled that my ENTIRE new novel Like Bees to Honey is today being serialised across 32 very fabulous blogs and websites. This means that you can hop between 32 websites and blogs, reading Like Bees to Honey chapter by chapter. Each host has a different chapter of the book displayed as an animated browse inside widget. (It really is magic!) You can actually flick through the pages, without going off the blog or website, and you can see the proper words and format and everything. The journey begins here, in this very short Chapter Zero...

... before hopping over to my lovely friends' blog, Chasing Sheep for Chapter One.

And, before you nip off, I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to those who have welcomed my words onto their websites and blogs:

Chapter 1: Chasing Sheep Chapter 2: Helen Redfern Chapter 3: My New Notebook Chapter 4: Jon Mayhew Chapter 5: L-Plate Author Chapter 6: Jamieson Wolf Chapter 7: Rowan Coleman Chapter 8: Live. Love. Learn. Write. Chapter 9: Dave Roberts Books Chapter 10: Nik's Blog Chapter 11: Fiction Is Stranger Than Fact Chapter 12: Kelly Railton Chapter 13: Megan Taylor Chapter 14: BubbleCow Chapter 15: Fluttering Butterflies Chapter 16: debs-daydreams in the shed Chapter 17: Matt Hill Chapter 18: Writing about writing Chapter 19: Not Only In Thailand Chapter 20: Password Incorrect Chapter 21: The trouser Press Chapter 22: Angie's Write Chapter 23: Just Keep Writing and Other Thoughts Chapter 24: Tea Stains Chapter 25: Chez Aspie Chapter 26: Planting Words Chapter 27: Being Lucy Diamond Chapter 28: Reallygood Thinking Chapter 29: Gemma Burgess Chapter 30: Sarah's Writing Journal Chapter 1 (and yes, it's a different one): Wordy Blog

And that's it, I mean that's really it, my words have wings, they're flying across the world: Dubai, Bangkok, Poland, California, Yorkshire... and me, well I'm sitting here in my pjs, feeling like all the butterflies in my tummy are having a party. (I have such a way with words) (Oh, and, before I forget, if anyone would like to actually buy a copy of Like Bees to Honey, well that would be very very lovely too)

Quick Flick: Solar

Hated Amsterdam. Loved Atonement. Thought Cement Garden good. Enduring Love dull.

Is there a pattern here? Might be.

When McEwan introduces science to his novels I seem to switch off. It isn't the actual science, as such, more the cold and distant, almost heartless narrative it brings with it. I simply don't care about the characters or anything that happens to them.

At first look Solar seems to fit into this category. A Nobel prize winning physicist is being cheated on by his wife, something that brings his professional and private lives crashing together.

Hard to give a shit really, and nothing in the opening section to suggest that will change.

Will I read on? I shouldn't really but I might try a bit more to see what all the fuss is about.

This Is Cool

I got sent a copy of Popshot magazine in a recent Stack Magazines* parcel. It is a beautifully designed poetry mag that you should check out.

Each edition is based around a theme - this one is The Liberate Issue - and features a bunch of poems each alongside a specially commissioned illustration.

It looks great and the poetry is the sort of stuff I like. As opposed to the sort of stuff I don't like. Always a bonus.

My one gripe would be the explanation of each poem which appears at the bottom of the page. Lose that needless trinket and they're on to a winner.

*What do you mean you don't know what Stack Magazines is, FFS? Pay £45** a year and you will be sent an amazing, unusual, thought provoking magazine every month. Actually the parcels usually include at least two mags, often more.

**But it only costs you £40 if you use the special discounted offer which is exclusive to readers of this blog. Just saying.

Walter's Journal