21st Century Christmas Dodos

So, for a laugh, I thought I would write a short festive version of my Dodos book for next Christmas. Most of you know the score: it is a list of things, objects, traditions, experiences etc. that either no longer exist or are on the way out. I reckon I could come up with fifty or so Yuletide examples and bring them together in an ebook.

I am doing pretty well with compiling a list so far, here are a few examples:

Handwritten Christmas Cards. We still get cards through the post, obviously, but the numbers are dwindling. More and more people, and businesses, are choosing to 'donate money to charity' and send e-cards instead. Although understandable, is it really a good thing?

Carol Singers. Not one carol singer has called at my house in the past decade. How about you?

Dairy Milk Dispensers. They still make them, actually, but gone are the days when we'd all get them for Christmas.

Everything Being Closed. No shops were open on Christmas Day when I were a lad, hardly anything was apart from hospitals and police stations, but an increasing number are these days, often staffed by people who don't celebrate Christmas but are happy to sell us a pint of milk.

Gift Tokens. OK, loads of these still around but with all the controversy surrounding HMV not accepting vouchers at the moment has this traditional festive gift had its day? Also, the general decline in book tokens and the like.

Christmas Radio Times. I bought a copy this year but didn't open it once. Electronic programme guides (EPGs) are pretty much making the listings mags defunct these days.

Cards That Won't Stand Up. Do you remember these? Christmas cards that were so thin the couldn't actually stand up. They usually had terrible photos of a bauble and a sprig of holly on the front. Almost exclusively used by children for their classmates and old spinster aunties for their great-nephews and nieces.

Anyway, you get the idea. I have about 40 so far and am searching around for more. Any suggestions gratefully accepted. Thank you.

And, just a reminder that an updated version of the original 21st Century Dodos book complete with additional dodos suggested by readers, or Readers' Dodos if you like, is available in all good ebook shops now priced just 99p!

Comments

[Steve]

I'd love to see cheesy footballs included. I also always seemed to have a big tub of flumps marshmallows, but maybe that was just my family.

Noel Edmonds giving out presents on Christmas Day.

Proper Christmas songs, about Christmas, ideally with sleigh bells.

[nasim]

January sales used to be a huge thing where people queued all night for bargains - and it wd be on the news. Now there are pretty much sales all year round.

[Paul B]

New Berry Fruit jellies.

When wrapped they felt like a box of chocolates, but unwrapping them to find it was fruit jellies was always a huge disappointment.

Usually given out by Aunties & Grandmas. Knowing kids wouldn't like them, they would get to eat them on their own.

Also found in the bottom of sweet bowls, until they hardened & would be thrown away late January.

[Mary Holmden]

Sticky dates with a sticky wooden fork
Port and lemon to drink or (later) Snowballs
Pillow cases not stockings

[Jonathan Pinnock]

Chocolate junior smokers' kits.

Disney Time.

[Sarie]

Christmas Day Top of the Pops!

[Jo]

Muppet soap - or any of the type that came in a threes in a box. They all had the same fragrance regardless of theme. Ditto bath cubes that would never dissolve properly, the grit at the bottom of the bath would go up the crack of your bum.

Ronco Christmas albums - usually complete with 'pop up' nativity when opened.

Selection boxes that had a faux stocking effect on the front i.e white netting.

Christmas tip for the milkman, insurance man, pools man (or in our case woman).

Food hampers. Oh my god the excitement of unpacking the smorgasbord of Ye Olde Oake Ham and tinned fruit cocktail. Those nasty German euro-biscs that all taste of stale ginger regardless of different packaging. Now found in discount type shops with toffifee.

End of term parties on the last day of school. Vivid red jelly with a blob of artificial cream on top, in a paper case that would always get wet and collapse.

Cheap foil decorations on ceilings, paper chains. Spray snow stencils on windows.

Grottos. Used to be big thing going to the big department stores to watch piss poor animatronics. Prezzie from Father Christmas was always, ALWAYS one of those shit plastic bats with a ball attached by elastic.

Father Christmas. "Santa" can piss right off.

Crepe paper and tubes of glitter in all the shops.

[Chris]

Yule logs!

[Rachel Green]

Actually, we get carol singers still. Usually groups of lads in the late teens bracket who sing 'We wish you a merry..." then demand a fiver each or they'll break your windows. In October.

And I miss complete strangers saying 'Merry Christmas' in the street and meaning it.

[ray]

Twiglets!

[TJ]

Some might be more relevant to me than most but…….EMI Record Tokens, Christmas tree chocolates. Christmas tree lights like old lanterns. Stanley Baxter or Mike Yarwood Christmas Specials A Proper Christmas song in the charts, My Gran, Games by Ideal (Favourite was Rebound or Crossfire). Playing Pontoon, Getting a toy Garage/Carpark. Blue Nun or Black Tower with dinner. Trifle with walnut decoration and sponge fingers, Men treating their wives to labour-saving devices such as vacuum cleaners or, if more romantically inclined, hairdryers or electric curlers, Proper Annuals. Indoor fireworks. Actually Wearing the Cracker hats for more than 10 minutes.

[nasim marie jafry]

'Games compendiums', which were sets of crap/cheapo games as I recall!

[Scott Pack]

Thanks everyone, some great ones here. A lot of them are ideas I have already noted down but plenty of new ones - much obliged and keep them coming!

[Darren Goldsmith]

When I was young, we had a broken Angel Chimes decoration (a weird brass-like construction that was powered by candles) that we put up every year because it 'looked Christmassy' and we couldn't afford new stuff.

Eventually the thing became too decrepit and we threw it out. I had given it no thought whatsoever, until last year, when my sister sent me one. I had no idea they still made them.

This: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Angel-Chimes-Original-Christmas-Decoration/dp/B002U17C30

Even that pic looks very 70s.

Anyway, not quite a Dodo if they're still being manufactured... but I wonder how many people still display them?

Another object becoming harder to find is traditional Advent calendars. These days they're all filled with nasty tasting chocolate. Amazon came to the rescue this year... but I suspect this type of calendar is soon for the Dodo list?

[Jessica Ruston]

Oh I don't think the Radio Times is a Dodo. I used it this year and I know loads of people who still take great joy in getting their highlighter pens out....

that funny synthetic snow stuff you draped over trees. Gave me a rash. Angel Hair, that's it.

[Scott Pack]

Ahh, but don't forget Jess, the dodos in the book can be endangered rather than extinct. I am sure the Radio Times circulation numbers are well down, even for the Christmas edition.

[friend of rachel worth]

I'm with Jess - Radio times still an essential purchase for a lot of the people I know (okay quick survey of 5 friends)

Oxford street lights that arent sponsored by marmite or bird eye fish fingers

[nasim marie jafry]

Am with Paul B, Newberry Fruits, always a dissie and that liquid filling was simply disgusting. What about chemistry sets, are they endangered or extinct? I have no idea!

[Ellie]

I'll have you know my xmas Radio Times was muchly consulted over the holidays! Never buy it any other time of year so it probably counts as a sort of dodo but I know a lot of people that buy it at xmas as a sort of tradition and get the highlighters out.

Will have a think about other dodos though. Most that spring to mind are probably only gone because I'm grown up and don't spend the holidays with kids.

[Darren Goldsmith]

Actually, thinking about it, and still on the decorations theme... I guess streamers aren't really used any more? When I was a kid, living room ceilings were criss-crossed with the things. And those fold out bells (and other shapes). Serious fire hazard!

[PK Munroe]

Going to the neighbours' house en masse to get beaten at especially competitive and challenging Christmas games.
The slavery of making paper chains (hand-built decorations based on strips of coloured payer with glue at one end - remember them?)
The acrid smell of indoor fireworks (and the accompanying hoped-for fire hazard).
Unusually pissed uncles.
Lengthy walks in damp weather with relatives.
Saturated woolen gloves.
Snow, and the risk of encountering white poodle shit therein.