Me And My Big Mouth

David Hewson: The Cemetery of Secrets
For me to bother with a crime novel it has to grab me early on and also be very obviously not shit. Surprising how many don't manage that. This one does. (***)

Katherine May: Burning Out
A woman returns to her home town only to discover a girl there who seems to be reliving her own past. Very interesting concept. Took a while to get going but I can see this building a fair bit of word-of-mouth. (***)

John Barlow: Everything But the Squeal: A Year of Pigging Out in Northern Spain
Novelist Barlow travels around Galicia with his Spanish wife (who is vegetarian) sampling different pork dishes. His mission: to eat everything but the squeal. An entertaining mix of travel and food writing. (****)

Jennie Rooney: Inside the Whale
I got this at the September Book Swap. Wasn't sure if it would be my cup of tea but a couple of chapters in and I am quite charmed. (****)

Hazel McHaffie: Right to Die
An admirable attempt to tackle the issue of assisted suicide through fiction. (***)

Emili Rosales: The Invisible City
Has a bit of a Shadow of the Wind feel to it. I will definitely be reading more. (***)

David O'Doherty: 100 Facts About Pandas
Depends how funny you find made-up facts about pandas. Not very was my response. (**)

Juliet Marillier: Heart's Blood
Not as Clannad-y as the cover would have you believe. Decent, accessible fantasy fiction. (***)

Helen Chase: Magazine
One for hardcore fans only. I found the writing style a bit too formal for what should have been quite an exciting story. (**)

Peter Hook: The Hacienda: How Not to Run a Club
Hugely entertaining account of fucking up The Hacienda. Includes excerpts from the company accounts and anecdotes galore. (****)

John Clellon Holmes: The Horn
Classic tale of the jazz age reissued after a long absence. (***)

Michael Grant: Gone
Very good teen thriller/horror/scifi tale. (***)

Ian Beck: Pastworld
Pastworld is a Victorian theme park, a living breathing 19th century London. But some of its inhabitants think it is for real, and one of them is a bit of a murderous swine. A bit Truman Show but really rather good. (****)

Henry Sutton: Get Me Out of Here
Always a risk making your narrator a dick. I didn't want to spend more than 10 pages with him. (**)

M. Thomas Gammarino: Big in Japan: A Ghost Story
A struggling rock band tours Japan and it all goes tits up. Good stuff so far, shall definitely finish this. (****)

The Vampire Miles Proctor: The New Vampire's Handbook
A fang-in-cheek guide by a bunch of writers from The Onion. Buy this for the teenage Twilight fan on your Christmas list and piss them off/make them laugh in equal measure. (***)

Matt Rudd: William Walker's First Year of Marriage: A Horror Story
Funny and a bit silly. More of a girl's book than a boy's book really but then that's weddings for ya. (***)

Naseem Rakha: The Crying Tree
A bit like Lovely Bones, but without the heaven bits. (***)

Simon Young: The Celtic Revolution: In Search of 2000 Forgotten Years that Changed Our World
An interesting reassessment of history, claiming that the Celts were as important as the Romans or Greeks. (***)

Frederic Tuten: Tintin in the New World
Full disclosure: I am not a fan of Tintin. This novel imagines the cartoon hero a few years on and his first love affair. I found it almost unreadable. Perhaps if you knew more about the characters it might work, but I suspect not. (*)

Apostolos Doxiadis: Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth
An innovative graphic novel based on the life of Bertrand Russell. Plays around with form and content without being up its own arse. Really very good so far. (****)

Richard Jay Parker: Stop Me
A serial killer gives his victims one small chance. He fires off a chain email. If it finds its way back to his inbox within a week then they live. 11 woman are already dead and now Leo's wife has gone missing. Will she be number 12? An intruiging concept that does pull you in. (***)

Sadie Jones: Small Wars
I haven't read The Outcast which won awards and sold bucket loads. This follow-up didn't do anything in the opening chapters to make me want to read on. What am I missing? (**)

Anne Tyler: Noah's Compass
Tyler could probably publish her shopping list and I'd enjoy it. This tale of a former teacher adjusting to retirement amidst the attentions of his grown-up daughters has all the right ingredients so far. (****)

Margaret Atwood: The Year of the Flood
Can't help comparing this to They Is Us by Tama Janowitz which I published and covers similar ground but more extreme, and more funny. Might have to put this to one side for a bit to give it a fair read. (***)

William Boyd: Ordinary Thunderstorms
A solid enough start, pretty good in fact, but surely this is a crime novel? A thriller. Not the work of literary fiction the cover, blurb and £18.99 price point would have us believe. (***)

Hassan Blasim: The Madman of Freedom Square
All praise to Comma Press for making this fascinating Iraqi story collection available in English (it has yet to be published in Arabic). Blasim is a young writer who has captured his country on paper, and it is quite a different story to the ones you will read or hear in the news. (***)

Michael Turner: The Pornographer's Poem
A young man 'accidentally' videos his next-door neighbours having sex. Then their dog joins in. It becomes a porn sensation. (****)

Sean Stewart: Firecracker
Sort of Lovely Bones but written by someone into 90s alt.rock. (****)

Robert M. Sapolsky: Monkeyluv: And Other Lessons in Our Lives as Animals
The most entertaining book on behavioural biology you will ever read. (****)

Jean Renoir: Renoir, My Father
The legendary film director recalls life with his legendary painter faither. (****)

Deanna Raybourn: Silent in the Grave
'To say that I met Nicholas Brisbane over my husband's dead body is not entirely accurate. Edward, it should be noted, was still twitching upon the floor.' Hard to resist such a good opening couple of lines. (****)

Chris Priestley: Tales of Terror from the Tunnel's Mouth
More spooky stories to scare the shit out of the kids.

Steve Feasey: Changeling
Really cool, really funny and really interesting. (*****)

Chris Priestley: Uncle Montague's Tales of Terror
Terrifying. Pretty much all the stories are scary. But I really enjoyed it. (****)

Vanessa Curtis: Zelah Green Queen of Clean
A really funny book about a girl who is a cleanaholic. Dad says I should take after her more and keep my bedroom tidy. (****)

Michael Morpurgo: Kensuke's Kingdom
I think this is my favourite book ever. Dad read it to us and we all really loved it. It is about a boy who gets shipwrecked and is looked after by an old Japanese man. (*****)

Garen Ewing: The Adventures of Julius Chancer: The Rainbow Orchid
This is volume one of a series. It is very good but there were some difficult words that you might have to ask people about if you are younger than me. I really enjoyed it, it was great fun to read. (*****)

Dinosaur
This is a huge book with lots of pull out sections and extra stuff. I liked the life-size dinosaur footprint the most. (****)

The Jumble Book
Lots of really funny poems. An excellent book. (*****)

Michael Morpurgo: Pigs Might Fly!
I really enjoyed reading this to myself. (****)

James Lever: Me Cheeta
The latest book group choice.

Michael Moorcock: Mother London
Not her normal sort of book at all but she really enjoyed this.

Winifred Watson: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Wonderful. Like reading a Fred Astaire movie apparently.

Sarah Waters: The Little Stranger
A bit disappointing. Not bad but nowhere near as good as her other books.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Certainly the best animation I have seen for a while that didn't come from Studio Ghibli or Pixar. Clever and witty with plenty for the kids and adults to laugh at together, rather than playing on two different levels. (***)

Be Kind Rewind
Great concept but just not a very good film. (**)

The Lives Of Others
As good as everyone told me it would be. A genuine modern classic. You have to see it if you haven't already. (****)

Brideshead Revisited
Decent adaptation with some great performances. Not a classic but well worth a couple of hours of your time. (***)

Ponyo on the Cliff
Wonderful Studio Ghibli animation. Aimed at slightly younger kids so not quite Spirited Away standard but still heaps better than all the Hollywood animated shite. (****)

Death Note
Enjoyable adaptation of one of my favourite manga series. (***)

I'm Not There
Didn't have a fucking clue what was going on. Pretty sure no one involved in making it did either. (**)

Kuhaku & Other Accounts from Japan
Fantastic collection of pieces about Japan. Beautiful cloth-bound hardback. Perfect for dipping into.

Joe Eszterhas: Hollywood Animal
Marie Phillips said I should read this. Am about a quarter of the way through and only reading small chunks now and again.

Stona Fitch: Senseless
I have really enjoyed Fitch's other books but the man himself tells me this is the one to read. So I am.

Hello Saferide: More Modern Short Stories from Hello Saferide
This is just wonderful. Cracking songs, each with a killer hook, and first-rate lyrics. Variously reminded of The Go-Betweens, Suzanne Vega, Laura Veirs, Veda Hille and Nina Kinert. The best Scandinavian album of the year, and that is high praise indeed coming from me. (*****)

Colonia
A Camp: Colonia
Nina Persson (her from The Cardigans) is probably my #1 music crush and this new album from her side project is full of deliciously dark pop songs. (****)

Neal Asher: The Gabble - and Other Stories
I haven't read any of the Polity series of books so this collection of stories might be a good introduction.

Tobias S. Buckell: Halo: The Cole Protocol
Nice of them to send this but not sure I will be reading it to be honest.

Michael Grant: Hunger
The sequel to Gone.

Dave Roberts: The Bromley Boys: The True Story of Supporting the Worst Football Team in Britain
Looking forward to this. As a Scunthorpe fan he has my sympathy.

Guy Bass: Dinkin Dings: and the Frightening Things
The delightful @LaceyTiger on Twitter sent some books for my kids. Martha is quite taken with this one.

Harriet Goodwin: The Boy Who Fell Down Exit 43
And Ethan likes the look of this one.

Emily Bearn: Tumtum and Nutmeg: A Christmas Adventure
The Tumtum and Nutmeg books are wonderfully old fashioned children's tales and Ethan and Martha both enjoy them. I shall read this one nearer to Yuletide.

Harry Eastwood: Red Velvet Chocolate Heartache
The lovely @EmmaB4 from Twitter popped round to see us and brought some books with her. This rather delightful baking book was one of them.

Matt Beaumont: E Squared
Also this. Guess I should get hold of a copy of E now.

Kate Atkinson: When Will There be Good News?
And this, she did well.

Miss Read: Christmas at Thrush Green
A guilty pleasure, I might read this on Christmas Day.

Su Tong: The Boat to Redemption
Lovely bound manuscript of this has arrived.

Patrick Woodrow: First Contact
Has been suggested by his publisher as a future Book Swap author. Would be great to mix up the genres a bit.

Roberto Bolano: Nazi Literature in the Americas
They keep sending me Bolano. I keep not reading it. Really need to sort that out.

Matt Rees: The Samaritan's Secret: An Omar Yussef Novel
A signed copy no less, complete with insults, from Matt Rees.

Ann Treneman: Annus Horribilis: The Worst Year in British Politics
Interesting take on Westminster from the Times' sketchwriter. Classy stocking filler.

Bob Monkhouse: Crying with Laughter: My Life Story
I got this at the October Firestation Book Swap.

Ryan David Jahn: Acts of Violence
Crime novel from Macmillan New Writing. Looks interesting.

Francois Lelord: Hector & the Search for Happiness
The first in a quirky new series from Gallic Books.

Phil Norman: Closet Reading: 500 Years of Humour on the Loo
The perfect present for pretty much any bloke you know.

Sloan Wilson: The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit
First rate. I cannot believe I haven't come across this before. Like Richard Yates but with a touch of Frank Capra. (*****)

Andy Stanton: What's for Dinner, Mr Gum?
A return to form (not that there was that much of a dip) for one of the best series of books for kids out there. Spendid stuff. (****)

Jah Wobble: Memoirs of a Geezer: Music, Life, Mayhem
Frank and entertaining memoir from the former member of PiL who went on to have one of the most diverse careers in modern musical history. Highly recommended. (****)

Elisabeth Beresford: The Wombles
A recent book at bedtime for the Pack household. I found it a bit tricky to read aloud but the kids really enjoyed it. (***)

Helen Rappaport: Conspirator
Fascinating account of the 17 years Lenin spent in exile. (***)

Michael Morpurgo: The Best of Times
A rather sweet and endearing Christmas tale. Works for both kids and adults, perhaps the latter reading it to the former. (***)

Carol Ann Duffy: Mrs Scrooge: A Christmas Tale
Just no great point to it really. Destined to be the stocking filler of choice for TLS subscribers. (**)

David Hughes: Thomas Wogan is Dead
Wonderfully absurd graphic novel. Kafka meets Vic & Bob. (****)

John and Gary Walker: The Walker Brothers - No Regrets
Had to read it for an interview which then didn't happen. Not bad at all, actually, but would have helped if I was a fan. (***)

Audrey Niffenegger: Her Fearful Symmetry
An ambitious and largely successful ghost story. The ending felt a bit rushed but by then I was pretty much swept up in it and happy to go with the flow. Witty, edgy and dark. It doesn't have the killer hook that The Time Traveler's Wife came with but succeeds nonetheless. (****)

Magnus Mills: The Maintenance of Headway
Highly entertaining but I missed the darkness of previous books. Still heaps better than most novels you'll read this year. (***)

Yoshihiro Tatsumi: The Push Man and Other Stories
A remarkable collection. The finest graphic novel I have read. (****)

Helen Rappaport: Ekaterinburg: The Last Days of the Romanovs
A tense and gripping account of the final days of the Czar and his family. If you liked the Mr Whicher book then I suspect you'll enjoy this. (****)

Jessica Ruston: Luxury
Great fun. A proper blockbuster like they did in the 70s and 80s. A guilt-free guilty pleasure because it is so well-written. Curl up and enjoy. (***)

Kate Clanchy: Antigona and Me
The author's account of her friendship with a Kosovan refugee who became her cleaner and nanny. Funny, heartrending and a fascinating portrait of a clash of cultures. (***)

Chris Priestley: Tales of Terror from the Black Ship
Excellent. Truly scary stories. A modern classic. (****)

Robert McCrum: My Year Off: Rediscovering Life After a Stroke
A thoughtful and thought-provoking true story. McCrum was editor in chief of Faber & Faber, and a newly married man, when he suffered a stroke at the age of 42. Quite a scary read if you are near that age, as I am. (***)

Oivind Hovland: Trial and Error: The Aviated Efforts of Jean Babtiste de Bomberaque
Another short graphic novel. Odd but charming. (***)

Oivind Hovland: A Day in the Life of Alfred
Very short graphic novel, formatted more like a children's picture book. A darkly sweet story. (***)

Richard E. Grant: The Wah-Wah Diaries: The Making of a Film
Witty, bitchy, gossipy and riveting account of Grant's directoral debut. Something all fans of cinema should read. Fascinating. (****)

Gareth P. Jones: The Thornthwaite Inheritance
The whole family loved this macabre tale of orhpan twins who spend all of their time trying to kill each other. Comes highly recommened from all of us. (****)

Edgar Rice Burroughs: A Princess of Mars
A cracking sci-fi adventure that I found myself enjoying far more than I thought I would. (****)

Edwin A. Abbott: Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions
My first genuine eBook discovery, something I would have never come across otherwise. A brilliantly imagined tale narrated by a square living in a 2 dimensional world whose mind is blown following a visit by a sphere. Genius. (*****)

G. K. Chesterton: The Man Who Was Thursday
Started off well but ended up too silly by half. Throwaway fun for Edwardian gentlemen. (***)

Per Petterson: Out Stealing Horses
An old man holes up in the middle of the Norwegian nowhere and finds himself confronting memories of his youth. Good, but didn't stun me. (***)

A.C. Tillyer: An A-Z of Possible Worlds
A remarkable thing. A boxed set of 26 separately bound short stories, one for each letter of the alphabet, all set in imagined, disturbing, fantastical, Kafka-esque worlds. BS Johnson, Borges and Franz fans should rejoice. It will be published for Christmas. I think it could be huge. (*****)

Joel Grey: 01:03
Quirky collection of pictures taken from his mobile phone. Some great images. (***)

Gyrdir Eliasson: Stone Tree
A beautiful collection of very short stories. A treasure of a book to return to year after year. (****)

Bob Burke: The Third Pig Detective Agency
Unfair of me to rate this as I published it but Ethan has given it 4 stars. Chapter 10 almost had him wetting himself. (****)

Andrew Kaufman: All My Friends are Superheroes
How has this one passed us by? A work of adorable genius. Buy it, borrow it, steal it but just make sure you read it. I am willing to bet it will be your surprise read of the year. I read it on the train home the day I received it and spent the whole evening smiling. (****)

Leo Tolstoy: The Death of Ivan Ilyich
Nothing technically wrong with it but nothing actually happens either. Well, Ivan dies but that is about it. I appear to have missed the point. (**)

Knut Hamsun: Dreamers
Heaps of rustic charm in this classic from Norway. (***)

Chris Priestley: Uncle Montague's Tales of Terror
Wonderfully scary stuff for kids. Genuinely frightening stories to put the wind up 'em. (****)

Erlend Loe: Naive. Super
I was charmed by this sweet, off-kilter story. (****)

Dag Solstad: Novel 11, Book 18
Norwegian existentialism. Not as bad as it sounds. (***)

Alex Williams: The Deep Freeze of Bartholomew Tullock
This was our bedtime read with the kids. We had this US edition, in the UK it is called The Storm Maker. Ethan particularly enjoyed this tale of a land where it never stops snowing. (***)

John Karter: The Profit
A parable which transplants Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet into the modern corporate world. A neat attempt to update a classic. (***)

Anthony Caleshu: Churchtown: The Tale of Suzy Delou and Faye Fiddle
Bizarre tale of geriatric sexual deviancy. (***)

Effie Gray: Selling Light
Excellent novella. The Highest Tide meets The Juggler. (****)

Various: Little Roasts
Four short stories in a neat little edition. The first was excellent. The second and third very good. The last didn't work for me. A reasonable return on an hour's reading. (***)

Leonore Schick: Lizard
Very odd, somewhat bizarre and a little muddled but has a certain Kafkaesque appeal. (***)

Richard H Thaler: Nudge
A genuinely thought provoking first half. Rather dull second half. (***)

Lars Saabye Christensen: The Half Brother
A genuine modern classic. Challenges John Irving at his best. (*****)

Dave Allan: Sticky Wisdom
Another business book with sound ideas but a bit too much marketing-speak in the explanation. (***)

Stephen C. Lundin: Fish!
Yet more research. Has some good concepts but a bit wanky in how it gets them across. (***)

Malcolm Gladwell: The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
More research. Very interesting but not quite as compulsive reading as Blink. (***)

Michael Kimball: Dear Everybody
A wonderfully clever, funny and moving novel. A collection of unsent letters from a young man who has committed suicide. (****)

Andy Stanton: Mr Gum in the Hound of Lamonic Bibber
Perhaps not quite as satisfying as the full-length novels but as a World Book Day title for a quid I really can't grumble. (***)

Neil Jordan: The Dream of a Beast
I must confess I didn't have a fucking clue what was going on. (**)

Jan Blensdorf: My Name is Sei Shonagon
Worth seeking out by Japanophiles who like a quick read. (***)

Neil Gaiman: The Graveyard Book
If I am being completely honest the kids enjoyed it a lot more than me but it was still a cracking good bedtime read. (****)

Sarnath Banerjee: Corridor: A Graphic Novel
Interesting concept but a bit slight. (***)

David Markson: This is Not a Novel
Unusual, experimental and great fun to read. (****)

Richard Blandford: Flying Saucer Rock 'n' Roll
The best book I have read about growing up in the 90s. Also, one of the few great novels about being in a rock band. (****)

Sue Cook: Force of Nature
Thought provoking novel that looks at the implications of IVF and embryo donation. Does a great job of making it highly readable and thoroughly entertaining. (***)

John Kotter: Our Iceberg is Melting: Changing and Succeeding Under Any Conditions
Another bloody business parable, but at least this one has pictures to keep me awake. (***)

Esteban Echeverria: El Matadero
Another di Giovanni translation, this time of a 19th century Argentinian story called The Slaughteryard. (****)

Jorge Luis Borges: El Hacedor
Otherwise known as The Maker, in English. I actually read a new translation from Norman T di Giovanni which is only available to read online. (****)

Stona Fitch: Printer's Devil
Dark and disturbing. An alarming new discovery. (***)

Sebastian Beaumont: The Juggler
Confirms his position as of the of two or three most exciting British writers around at the moment. I was captivated throughout and didn't want it to end. (*****)

Tom Markert: You Can't Win a Fight with Your Boss: And 55 Other Rules for Success
Frighteningly old school. Work long hours, play the game, wear expensive suits, don't befriend your work colleagues. You might be successful if you follow those rules but you'd also be a bit of a twat. (*)

Ken Blanchard: The Leadership Pill
At least this one offers a bit more than the bloody obvious but it is still pretty much common sense really. (***)

Ken Blanchard: The One Minute Manager Balances Work and Life
More timewasting nonsense that you don't need to read. All in the name of research. (**)

Jenna Jameson: How to Make Love Like a Porn Star
Excellent (genital) warts and all memoir from the biggest porn star in the world. (****)

Spencer Johnson: The One-Minute Teacher
Research for the book I am writing. A case of flogging a dead horse called Franchise with this one. (**)

John Connolly: Dark Hollow
Excellent crime novel. Dark and disturbing. (****)

Emily Bearn: The Great Escape
Proved a popular book at bedtime with the kids and a pleasure to read aloud. Not as good as the first Tumtum & Nutmeg book though. (***)

David Bellos: Georges Perec: A Life in Words
A decent biography of a remarkable writer. A bit dry and academic at times but its got all the facts in the right order so I mustn't grumble. (***)

J.R.R. Tolkien: The Hobbit
Apart from breaking off into song every chapter or so and the annoyingly archaic language in places this proved to be a most enjoyable read for the whole family. My Gollum voice was particularly good, Andy Serkis watch out. (****)

Vikas Swarup: Q and A
A tad clunky in places but such a great story that you forgive it anything. (****)

Ron Hansen: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
A genuine masterpiece. Quite stunning. Unforgettable. Please read this book. I am asking you nicely. (*****)

Elizabeth Baines: Balancing on the Edge of the World
A short collection of short stories. Very good ones too. (***)

Sjon: The Blue Fox
Beautiful. Haunting. Remarkable. (*****)