Me And My Big Mouth

Swappers of the World, Unite and Take Over!

Our Book Swaps in Windsor now take place once a quarter instead of every month so it is even more important that you make the effort to come along because if you miss it you'll be kicking yourself for the next three months, rather than one.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Joining us on Thursday April 18th at 7.45pm will be novelists Kerry Hudson and Will le Fleming.

Kerry's debut Tony Hogan Bought me an Ice Cream Float before he Stole my Ma not only has a very long title but has also been shortlisted for all sorts of awards and stuff, including the South Bank Sky Arts Award for Literature. She's fab on Twitter and she's been keen to do a Book Swap for a while.

Will is also a debut novelist. Central Reservation tells the story of a girl haunted by the ghost of her dead twin. Also, apparently, he grew up in a house with a moat.

As always, audience members are asked to bring a book along to swap and if you bake a cake you can get in for free. If you don't bake a cake you can still come along but we'll charge you a fiver. So there.

More details over here.

And if you like our Facebook page or follow us on Twitter then you'll always be up to speed on our news.

We hope to be able to announce some London dates very soon, but don't hang around for those. Come to Windsor. It is nice. We have a castle and all sorts of stuff.

No moat, though.

New Year, New Book Swap

We are only a week away from our first Firestation Book Swap of 2013. All very exciting, I am sure you'll agree.

Marie will be joining me on stage to bicker, eat some cakes, help out with some swapping and ask witty and insightful questions of our two guest authors.

And we have a couple of crackers for you.

Tanya Byrne sat on the sofa at out Portsmouth BookFest swap back in November and she enjoyed it so much she is coming to our home gig in Windsor to see if it is just as fun second time round. She is the author of the hugely acclaimed Heart Shaped Bruise, a rare book which has excited adult and teenage readers alike. She also happens to be lovely.

Andrew Kaufman is flying over from Canada to be with us next week (OK, so he is doing other things while he is over but he is mainly here to visit Book Swap) and talk about his two new books. The Tiny Wife is out in paperback and Born Weird in hardback.

Full details of the event are here. You don't need to book tickets, you can just turn up at the Firestation Arts Centre in Windsor on the night. Festivities kick off at 7.45pm on Thursday 17th January.

The New Improved Dodo

So, after a month of being available to download for free my ebook now costs actual money. Obviously having given it away for so long I will never again be able to persuade anyone to part with cold hard cash for it.

Or will I?

Today sees the launch of a brand new edition of 21st Century Dodos on ebook. It costs a whopping 99p and has lots* of exciting** extra content.

It also has a swanky new cover which is, I am sure you'll agree, rather blue. I hope you like blue.

I have been sharing stats on the free ebook experiment for a few weeks and you can see all the posts on that subject here. Suffice to say it led to shitloads of downloads, increased sales of the print edition, many more Amazon and GoodReads reviews and a boost to sales of my other book.

In the little over a week since it went from FREE to 99p it has sold close to 100 copies, so sales post-offer are much higher than before. This is all good stuff.

The renewed interest also means that we will be publishing a paperback edition next Christmas. And that is effectively what we are unleashing now as an ebook, a revised and updated version. How revised and updated? Oh, just you wait...

• A Readers' Dodos section in which readers of the book have suggested new entries to our list of endangered inanimate objects.
• Updated entries. I added a handful of footnotes where there was news or something to add about any of the entries. No need to thank me, it wasn't much trouble.
• A brand new introduction which sort of does what the old introduction did but with different words.
• A revised running order. I swapped some of the chapters around.

Pretty compelling stuff, eh? I bet you want to download it all over again.

If you already own the ebook and want to update your version then it is pretty easy on every device except for Kindle. Most devices will either automatically update it or allow you to delete and download it again for free. Kindle users will have to contact customer services and ask them to update it for them.

Or you can just ask me and I'll send you the file.

And if you don't already own it then get your finger out and order a copy now!

*some

**well, it may be exciting if you have a really boring life

Pompey Book Swap

People of Portsmouth and its environs, please be warned that the Firestation Book Swap is coming your way. Oh yes indeedy!

Want some details?

Here's what it says in the programme:

Hosted by Scott Pack and Marie Phillips, with special guests Dorothy Koomson and Tanya Byrne

Friday 2 November

Aspex Gallery

7.00pm. Tickets: £5 (or free if you bring a home-made cake)

Novelist Marie Phillips and publisher Scott Pack are back to host this ever popular event. Bring along an unwanted book and swap it with other audience members, as well as the opportunity to take part in discussions, enjoy the event AND there’s tea and cake!

Bestselling author Dorothy Koomson’s novels have previously been selected as a Richard & Judy Summer Read and shortlisted for a Galaxy British Book Award. Her latest book is The Rose Petal Beach, and The Ice Cream Girls will be a three-part series on ITV1 in 2013.

After eight years working for BBC Radio, Tanya Byrne left to write her debut novel, Heart-Shaped Bruise, one of the most talked-about debuts of 2012 and shortlisted for the CWA John Creasey Dagger.

For more detail please visit the Portsmouth BookFest website. Our trips to Portsmouth are always great fun and the audience really gets into the spirit of it so hope to see some of you there.

A Special Book Swap for Goblins, Movie Stars and Old Lazers

On Sunday 4th November we are holding a special Firestation Book Swap for kids. It is completely free and our guests are Andy Stanton and Marianne Levy.

Andy is the author of the hugely successful Mr Gum books which have won both the Blue Peter Prize and the Roald Dahl Funny Prize. He has also written the rather unpleasant picture book Here Comes the Poo Bus! He studied English at Oxford but they kicked him out. He has been a film script reader, a cartoonist, an NHS lackey and lots of other things. He has many interests, but best of all he likes cartoons, books and music (even jazz). His favourite expression is ‘Good evening’ and his favourite word is ‘captain’.

Marianne was an actress and once played the voice of a yoghurt. She has also written episodes of Tracy Beaker. Right now she is especially famous for writing Ellie May Would Like to be Taken Seriously for a Change which is about an incredibly successful film star but she has also been known to eat cheese and chase other people's dogs.

Andy and Marianne will be chatting with me about their books and anything else that springs to mind. They will also be helping everyone to swap a book, so make sure you bring one along that you don't want any more. They will also be happy to sign books which will be on sale on the day, or bring in your old battered copies and they'll sign those too!

All ages welcome but the event is most suitable for ages 7+.

The last time Andy came to do a Book Swap it was an absolute blast and he stayed behind for over an hour and a half to sign books. He loved it so much he wanted to come back and is bringing his friend Marianne along.

Here's a lovely magazine article about how they met.

The event is free but you need to reserve a seat here.

And it will actually be our last Firestation Book Swap of 2012. No more swaps for kids or grown-ups till 2013. So do come along if you can, but you'll probably need to bring a kid with you.

New Logo

I do love Twitter.

The week before last I asked if anyone would like to design a logo for the Firestation Book Swap in exchange for some books. The message had over 30 retweets and there were loads of offers of help, but one chap went a step further and actually produced a design. Here it is. We love it.

It energised me so much that I went and set up a fancy new Facebook page for our humble, shambolic little event. Do pop on over and 'like' it, as the kids say, if you can be arsed.

Our next Book Swap is on Thursday night at Waterstone's in Windsor. Guests are Niven Govinden and John Higgs. You are all very welcome to come along. It is £5 to get in, or free if you bake a cake.

We are also at Portsmouth BookFest on Nov 2nd and are holding a special Junior Book Swap with Andy Stanton and Marianne Levy at the Firestation on Nov 4th. More on those soon.

Oh, and the splendid new logo was created by Joel Overton. Click on the link to discover more about this fine chap.

Book Swap Goes to Cheltenham

On Friday October 12th the Firestation Book Swap is proud to be appearing as part of the Cheltenham Literature Festival.

Joining myself and Sarah Franklin on stage will be novelists Jonathan Lee (making his fourth appearance at a Book Swap) and Naomi Alderman (a Book Swap virgin).

Tickets are on sale now. It is an event that appears to be exclusive to members and patrons, so apologies if that leaves you out (it was not of our doing), but if you are able to come along we'd love to see you.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Cupcakes

We have another splendid Firestation Book Swap lined up for you this month. Our guests will be journalist, comedian, classicist and Review Show regular Natalie Haynes and blogger, baker and Bah to Cancer! creator Stephanie Butland.

Natalie will be familiar to many of you as one of the regular critics on BBC2's Review Show and she'll be chatting about her book, The Ancient Guide to Modern Life, which, as the title suggests, looks at how the classical Greeks and Romans influenced so much of what goes on in our lives today.

Stephanie was a regular Book Swap audience member until she moved up north and took her lovely cupcakes (not a euphemism) with her. She has written two books about her refreshingly positive way to deal with cancer, the latest of which is Thrive: The Bah! Guide to Wellness After cancer, and has recently signed a deal for two novels with a fellow Book Swap regular, Transworld editor Emma Buckley. All very incestuous. The eagle-eyed amongst you will also have noticed that Stephanie was my guest on this blog just last week. Do scroll down to read her delicious cupcake recipes.

It promises to be a great night so do pop along if you can. The Firestation is easy to get to from London and anywhere within an hour from Windsor. Entry is a fiver on the door or free if you bake a cake. Books will be on sale on the night and you can even ask the authors to scribble in them if you want.

Happy Birthday to Us!

Our peculiar literary event, the Firestation Book Swap, is 3 years old this month and to celebrate we are letting everyone in for free!

If you don't know about the Book Swap here is a summary in bullet point form:

• Two guest authors come along each month.
• Everyone in the audience brings a book they want to swap.
• Lots of people bring cake (on a normal month we charge a fiver to get in but you get in for nowt if you bake a cake).
• When the audience members arrive they write questions for the authors on pieces of paper. These questions cannot be about books or writing. The pieces of paper go into a bucket which we keep on stage.
• We bring the authors out to spontaneous applause, they proceed to tell us which books they have brought along to swap.
• Members of the audience then offer their own books in exchange.
• We interview the authors, rather shambolically.
• At various points during the evening we break off to ask questions from the bucket or pop into the audience to swap more books.
• It takes place every month at the Firestation Arts Centre in Windsor.
• I host it with getting-more-famous-all-the-time comedy writer and novelist Marie Phillips.
• Or with also-pretty-famous comedy writer and novelist Robert Hudson.
• Fun and good times are had by all.

It is a blast, honestly. And there really is lots of cake.

Our guests for August are award-winning crime writer Lesley Thomson, who will be talking about her novel A Kind of Vanishing, and Amy Shindler who not only plays Brenda Tucker in The Archers but is also one of the rather rude women behind Fifty Shelves of Grey.

So if you have been meaning to come along and check it out now is definitely the time. Things kick off at 7.45pm on Thursday 16th August. It usually ends by 9.30 so plenty of time to get back to London or wherever you need to be.

Go on, you know you want to!

More details here if you need them.

Birds and Bikes

I had no idea where Kashgar was before reading this book. I still wasn't entirely sure partway through, but then I hadn't bothered to look at the conveniently supplied map or pay attention to the fact that the opening chapter makes it quite clear that it is in Eastern Turkestan, part of China. Or thereabouts.

I say I wasn't entirely sure but I am not that stupid, it was obvious from Suzy Joinson's descriptions that it was China-ish but that doesn't really matter all that much. For the purposes of this review you just need to know that it is over there (*points vaguely*) and a long time ago.

(I'd make a great geography teacher, wouldn't I? Or history, come to that.)

But back to the book. Three missionaries, lady missionaries as it happens, arrive in Kashgar on a mission (funnily enough) but manage to cock things up early on by helping to deliver a baby only for the mother to die. They find themselves under house arrest until they can get hold of some money to bribe the local big cheeses or until they are tried for murder, whichever comes sooner. They settle in, somewhat uncomfortably, and try to make do. These sections are narrated by Evangeline English who has brought her bike along and is making notes in a journal in the hope of writing a book about their adventures.

Meanwhile back (forward?) to the present day and we meet Frieda, who is on the wrong end of an uneven love affair, taking second place to her lover's wife and kids. She has just returned from some sort of diplomatic work abroad (Joinson herself works for the British Council) to find herself the sole beneficiary of an old woman's estate, a woman previously unknown to her. The estate appears to include a live owl. If that wasn't complicated enough she has an illegal immigrant sleeping outside her flat. And he has drawn a huge bird on the wall.

These parallel narratives do not meet until the end of the book, although Joinson doesn't try to hide the fact that they will - this is a story which reveals its secrets gradually rather than offering any jack-in-the-box surprises - and that is no bad thing. This fact allows the reader to look for links and clues, spot them if they can but not worry too much if they can't. It's not so much the ending of this book that counts, more the getting there.

Joinson's clear unfussy prose is a pleasure to read. She is never trying too hard to impress you and, as a result, succeeds all the more in doing so. I would not be at all surprised to see this debut on a few awards shortlists in the year ahead.

A Lady Cyclist's Guide to Kashgar by Suzanne Joinson is out now in hardback and the author will be joining us for the Firestation Book Swap on Thursday. Why not pop along? We'll let you in for free if you come by bike. Or bring an owl with you.

Save the Date

July 19th, that's the date to save.

Why?

It's the next Firestation Book Swap, that's why!

Joining us will be Book Swap veteran (this will be his third) Jonathan Lee whose new novel, Joy, has been getting reviews like this:

A brilliant book... Jonathan Lee is one of those rare, agile writers who can take your breath away - Catherine O Flynn, author of What Was Lost

[One] of Britain s most exciting writers... I loved how Jonathan Lee s Joy gradually unravels through different characters...The ending of Joy is brilliantly shocking. I finished it three weeks ago and it s still playing on my mind... Something about Joy s slow and brooding story really affected me...Lee manages to make every voice distinct...It is Joy s complexity which keeps you reading...[A] wonderful book. - Stylist

The world is due the darkly comic view of corporate law firm life depicted by Jonathan Lee's second book. Joy is not only beautifully written, but a real page-turner. - Guardian

And then we have Suzanne Joinson (I think we are allowed to call her Suzy) who is wowing the critics with her debut novel A Lady Cyclist's Guide to Kashgar.

A haunting, original and beautifully written tale that conveys a sense of profound alienation, and of other realities. - Paul Torday, bestselling author of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

An astonishing epic - colonial-era travel combined with a modern meditation on where we belong and how we connect in the world - I could not put it down. - Helen Simonson

Suzanne Joinson's first novel is a finely-worked and captivating read. She combines her own wealth of travel experiences with vivid characters from past and present, resulting in a delicate yet richly-layered story. Delicious. - Stella Duffy

Thrilling and densely plotted ... An impressive debut, its prose as lucid and deep as a mountain lake. Joinson also has a gift for evoking finely calibrated shifts of feeling... Joinson explores notions of freedom, rootlessness, dislocation - any writer's reliable arsenal. But she makes these themes her own. - New York Times Book Review

Come along for an evening of book chat, book swapping and baked goods. It only costs a fiver or is free if you bake a cake. More details here.

And in other Book Swap news, we are off to the Cheltenham Literature Festival to do a swap there in October. Authors tbc, but the names being chucked around are very impressive indeed. Watch this space for more info as we get it.

The Jubilee Euro 2012 Book Swap

Did you see those big posters in WH Smith windows advertising the latest title in the Richard & Judy Book Club? Did you?

It was Jubilee by Shelley Harris and Shelley will be one of our guests at the next Firestation Book Swap. Oh yes.

Here's what Richard and Judy had to say about the book.

Joining Shelley on the sofa will be Vanessa Gebbie, whose debut novel The Coward's Tale had been receiving rave reviews.

A.N. Wilson called it 'my novel of the year'.

The Independent compared her use of language to Dylan Thomas and her storytelling to Jon McGregor.

And lots of other people said lots of other nice things.

So cancel whatever you are doing on Thursday 21st June and come on down to the Firestation Arts Centre in Windsor at 7.45pm for an evening of books, banter and baked goods.

Full details here. And also on Facebook.

Another Book Swap

This isn't one of ours but it is being organised by friends so do please pop along if you live nearby. It promises to be a splendid evening.

Book Swap on Tour

Save the Date (Or Else!)

It is April, so that means another Firestation Book Swap is looming. Looming away like a great big evening of fun that you should really all shuffle your arses along to. Yeah.

For the uninitiated, the Firestation Book Swap is a literary event with a difference. It takes place every month at the Firestation Arts Centre in Windsor. It is hosted by me (hello!) alongside novelist, radio comedy writer and person whose book is about to be released as a major Hollywood movie starring Christopher Walken and Sharon Stone, Marie Phillips. And when Marie can't make it her place is expertly filled by novelist, librettist, also a radio comedy writer and all round good egg Robbie Hudson.

But what happens at this Book Swap?

A very good question. Everyone in the audience brings a book to swap and during the course of the evening we do our best to get them exchanged. We also have authors in conversation on stage but, and this is an important but, they are not allowed to read from their books. No, nothing as obvious as that. Instead they answer questions posed by the lovely members of the audience, questions that can be about any subject other than books or writing and which are scribbled on paper and popped in a bucket before the show starts.

Still with me? Good.

There is also cake. Entry is £5 on the door or free if you bake a cake. That cake gets shared around. There is lots of it. Really, lots.

What more can you possibly need to know?

Our next Book Swap is on Thursday 19th April and kicks off at 7.45pm. Our authors will be novelist and poet Sarah Salway and fellow poet, but also collector of Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, Jen Campbell. You can find out more details at the venue's website, our Facebook page or you can RSVP here.

We'd love to see you.

99 Reasons to Come to the Book Swap

Oh, do we have a Book Swap for you this month!

That is a rhetorical question, we always have a Book Swap for you. Except for in December when we take a month off.

Joining myself and my increasingly famous co-host Marie Phillips are authors Helen Smith and Caroline Smailes.

Helen is a playwright and novelist who writes books for both adults and children. He debut novel, Alison Wonderland , has recently been reissued and is absolutely bonkers. In a good way. I explained as much on Tuesday.

Caroline Smailes has spent a lot of time on television and radio recently talking about her forthcoming ebook, 99 Reasons Why , which has eleven different endings. She is also the author of four previous novels and her short story collection, Freaks!, co-written with Nik Perring, is out just in time for our Book Swap.

As always, entry is £5 on the door or free if you bake a cake. Festivities kick off at 7.45pm on Thursday March 15th (that's a week today) at the Firestation Arts Centre in Windsor. Bring your friends. Tell your enemies. See you there.

Cartoon Strips and Crackers

We are doing another one of those Book Swaps.

This should not really come as a surprise as we have them every month but I always feel the need to remind you anyway.

So, the nuts and bolts bit.

Thursday 16th February at the Firestation Arts Centre in Windsor. Doors open at 7.30pm with everything kicking off at 7.45pm. Entry is £5 on the door or free if you bake a cake.

And now for the talent bit.

Joining myself and Marie on the new sofa (it is a bit smaller but much more posh) will be Steven Appleby and DJ Connell.

Steven's work will be familiar to most of you as his cartoons and comic strips have appeared in pretty much every decent newspaper and magazine you can imagine. I met him when he came along to a Book Swap we held at the Peckham Literary Festival at which his friend, DJ Connell, was one of the guests.

Here is a wonderful video of Steven explaining his rules for how to draw:

DJ Connell, or Diane to her friends, is a novelist who writes really funny books. Julian Corkle is a Filthy Liar was one of my favourites of the year in 2010 and her new book, Sherry Cracker Gets Normal, is every bit as witty and moving as her debut. She was an absolute star in Peckham and we were very keen to get her to come to Windsor, which she has done before as a member of the audience but we've finally got her to plonk her bum on the sofa.

It promises to be a really splendid night and we hope to see lots of you there. More details here if you need them but you can just roll up on the night. Or you can check out our Facebook page or Twitter feed if you want to stay up to date.

Guaranteed the Best Book Swap of 2012 (So Far)

Next Thursday sees the return of the Firestation Book Swap (we took December off to eat lots of cake) and we have a corking line up for you.

(For the uninitiated or the amnesiacs, this is a monthly book event that involves readings from the authors, no questions about books or writing but lots and lots of baked goods).

Joining myself and Marie Phillips on stage will be novelists Nicola May and Chris Wakling.

Nicola is the author of Working it Out, in which her heroine is sacked just before Christmas and decides to try out twelve jobs in twelve months until she finds her dream one. But will she find her dream man in the process?

What I Did is the latest novel by Chris Wakling. It has had fellow authors such as Emma Donoghue and previous Book Swapper John Harding falling over each other to praise it. Here is one of those book trailer things for the book.

As always, the evening kicks off at 7.45pm and it costs a fiver on the door. Bake a cake and you will be let in for free. More details here.

The Last Book Swap

Our final Firestation Book Swap of the year is on Thursday night. We do hope some of you will come along.

Our guests are Adele Geras and Sophie Hannah.

Adele has written over 90 books for children, young adults and adults and you will find her work in every bookshop in the land. We've been wanting to have her along as a guest since our very first event over two years ago and are delighted that she has been able to find the time to pay us a visit.

Sophie is an award-winning poet who turned her hand to crime writing and found her books turned into the acclaimed television series Case Sensitive, of which I believe there are more episodes to come. She also happens to be Adele's daughter.

As always, entry is £5 but you get in for free if you bake a cake. More details here.

We'll be back in January with Chris Wakling and Shelley Harris.

Portsmouth Ahoy!

We are off to do a Book Swap in Portsmouth on Friday.

It is all part of the second Portsmouth BookFest and we will be joined by a couple of authors who are favourites with the awards panels.

Sade Adeniran won the Commonwealth Writer's Prize for Best First Book (Africa Region) in 2008 for her self-published novel Imagine This. That is a remarkable feat for any self-published author and probably highlights that it should really have been picked up by a major publisher beforehand. It is a hugely impressive coming-of-age novel. Lola, having grown up in London is sent to live with Nigerian relatives when her mother dies. Separated from her brother she struggles to cope with life in this strange country. I have read quite a few books that cover similar territory and this is by far the most impressive. No wonder it won an award.

And Miriam Halahmy has seen her novel Hidden short and longlisted for numerous awards, including the prestigious Carnegie Medal. It is the story of a teenage girl who saves an illegal immigrant from drowning and is then faced with the dilemma of whether or not to turn him in. The book's title may give you a clue as to her actions. A cracking read for adults both young and old.

We had a great time at BookFest last year and are delighted to be asked back again. The venue is the splendid Aspex Gallery which serves a pretty mean cake. Festivities kick off at 7.30pm and full details can be found by scrolling down to the bottom of the page at the BookFest site.